How 2020 changed me & my perspective!
This year was different…it was extraordinary! With 2021 I have numerous things that I want & will change! One thing is that I wanted to start a Blog — so here it is! :)
At the 01.01.2020 I thought that this year is gonna be my year — exploring new places, making memories with friends/family, enjoying the last year before I graduate from High School! Unfortunately this view has slowly changed when the first cases of COVID-19 were anounced. Honestly, at first I thought that Wuhan, China is so far away that we in Austria will not really get affected by that virus. But already a few days later the first COVID-19 case got registered in our neighbour country — Germany.
And from there it all started, the case numbers literally exploded everywhere across the globe — including Austria. Day by day I spent hours reading the latest news about COVID-19. Day by day new negative records! I read articles late into the night & woke up early in the morning to continue reading them before distance learning. This was in my opinion one of the biggest mistakes I have made in 2020. By reading articles about this topic daily, I built up such an incredible insecurity & anxiety that I got hit with a big overthinking wave, which I am struggling with till today.
This was the first time I really noticed what an incredible power the media has. The constant fear about this virus was/is literally eating me up from the inside. A few months later, in summer our chancellor told us Austrians, that he spread purposely more fear in order to get us protected. I don’t know how to think about that… On the one hand he tried to protect his population by spreading constant fear, but on the other hand this constant fear harmed a lot of people mentally.
During the time when our country was in lockdown (today, 03.01.2021 we are in the 3rd one) I did not only read media articles. I also started to get better in my second language — English. By watching a lot more English videos then German, I immediately noticed that my English got better day by day. In May I also turned 18 & with that day a new fear appeared in my mind. What should I do after school? Studying is not the right thing for me, or is it? Where should I work? What should I work? What if, I do not get a job & end up unemployed? What if,…? Till today I have no answers for all these questions! In ~5 months I have (hopefully) graduated successfuly. The goal which I was aiming for, since I have been in primary school is in reach, but what will happen afterwards?
In the last few months I noticed that my interest in financials & character development got bigger and bigger! This lead me to buy and read books again — a very big achievement for me, because after primary school I think I have not touched a book voluntary. Something I noticed now — late, but at least now and not later, is that life is a big learning process and that gaining knowledge plays a big role in it!
2020 has had many ups & downs — mentally & physically, but somehow I managed to get through it & so did you! I also took some time for self reflection back then & something I also noticed is that some people that I have been with like one year ago are now strangers for me. I followed the governments rules and did not take part in parties or anything like that — because of that I also lost connection to some people. Still I do not know if this good or bad? Making parties during the pandemic and possibly creating a cluster, because the need for alcohol won, is in my opinion definetely not worth it! Honestly I really do not like drinking & that is good!
In this year I seperated myself from others expect from my family, made my own thing, turned even more into an introvert — turned into a lone wolf…
Despite these facts, I got also to see how important time management & constant learning is.
Something I know is that I am now a different person then one year ago.
I need now to reflect what I want in the future & how I will get there!
Let’s see where the journey leads me to!
Remember: In order that I can go back upwards, it needs to go downwards!
Hopefully in 2021 it will get back to “normal”! But what is “normal” now?!
How was your 2020? Did it change you?
